Nearly a decade ago I made a decision that upset a lot of people. I ended my marriage.
My husband Daniel was, and is, a good man. He was reliable, goodlooking, caring, funny and the kind of man everyone loved.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, I stopped loving him. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t recover those feelings. They were gone and so eventually I accepted my marriage was over.
My decision to leave wasn’t popular in a lot of quarters.
Some of my friends were incredulous and even scornful. How could I consider leaving? Daniel was, in their eyes, the perfect man. I must be out of my mind.
Some of my family members were angry, upset and believed for years afterwards that I would live to regret my decision.
But I haven’t.
Leaving the home Daniel and I shared was incredibly difficult. But I knew then, as I know now, that it was what I needed to do for me. I couldn’t stay there anymore and be true to myself. I had a right to be happy and my heart was telling me very clearly that it was time to go.
Dealing with the disappointment, anger and judgement of others in that kind of situation can be hard. You need to have faith in yourself and be truly connected to what is best for you.
Sometimes other people won’t be supportive because your behaviour doesn’t align with what they want, expect or believe is right.
But you can’t let that stand in your way.
Living your life to only make others happy will only make you miserable. You have a right to be happy too.
Sometimes it will feel like being true to yourself just makes you unpopular. And you know what, it might. But the alternative is hardly an option. After all, do you want to live the life you want? Don’t you have a right to do that?
Living your life to make others happy at your own expense is actually kind of nuts. They get everything they want and you get…nothing?
I never set out to hurt anyone. And it caused me a lot of pain to see the people I cared about (including my husband) in pain. But I knew I had to go because that was best for me. Staying would keep others happy but leave me miserable.
And that’s not what life is about.
We must always be true to ourselves. So be brave my friends and live the life that is best for you. Trust your own judgement and don’t live in fear of the censure of others.
Your heart wants you to fly…so don’t lock yourself in a cage that’s been created by and for others.
It’s really not worth it.